Ugh....I weighed today....

Okay, so I got to work today and I weighed....and I have gained back the few pounds I lost, plus two! GRRR! This is SOOO aggravating! BUT, I am going to stick with it, and not give up. I am going to watch the calories I eat (AND drink...lol....Thanks to Mrs. Kitty over at http://www.kittyconcerto.com/!)

I REALLY need to go to the doctor and get a prescription for this WONDERFUL drug called Adipex! I have taken this pill a few times (SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!) without a prescription, and it is WONDERFUL!!!! It cuts down your appetite and your food cravings, and gives you energy throughout the WHOLE day! Which is a good thing for me, because I am 1) anemic, so I don't have much energy anyway and 2) fat, so I don't have much energy anyway! LOL! They are great little pills, and they work wonders, and they are not very expensive. The problem is that they are pretty addictive, so you have to go to the doctor once a month, so he can renew your prescription. They don't do refills. And my WONDERFUL job (which as you know, if you read my OTHER blog, is starting to REALLY SUCK!) does not have medical insurance (or any other kind, lol!), so doctor's visits would KILL my poor little bitty paycheck!

So....I am going to start writing what I am eating in my blog....I think. LOL! That is kind of my plan...kind of like an accountability thing. But...I know me, and I will forget to blog, then by the time I remember, I will have forgotten what I ate, lol! So far today, I have had the item that is probably my BIGGEST problem. I am drinking a 32 ounce fountain drink coke. And no.....not DIET coke....the regular fattening kind, lol! I normally drink at least two of these a day....I just plugged it into my calorie counter, and it says that one thirty two ounce coke is 312 calories! EEK! Yep....THAT is a huge part of my problem! LOL! But giving up coke....I don't know that I would make it through my day without coke!!! I used to be a HUGE Dr. Pepper-aholic....but a kidney stone cured me of that, lol! If you have never had one, PRAY that you never get one, they are HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!! PAIN!!!!!!!!!!! LOTS OF PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The doc I was going to at the time said that DP has a WAY higher rate of causing kidney stones than Coke....so here I am....a coca cola addict. I can generally get through the day without a coke, as long as I have sweet tea to drink...which is better.....about a third of the calories.....but when I am drinking tea I drink a lot MORE than when I am drinking coke....probably not enough to even out the calories...but still.

Anyway, that's been my day so far......*sigh* maybe it will get better, lol!

I don't understand....

I don't understand how I can be fluctuating like I am! One day I have lost four pounds, the next I have gained two back, the next I have lost three more, but the next I have gained four back! It's SOO weird to me!

I found this article yesterday that gives you a formula to tell you how many calories you have to eat a day to maintain your weight. So, obviously if you eat less calories you will lose weight, and if you eat more calories you will gain weight. Click here, and a calculator will automatically do it for you. Now, I am not giving out any of my numbers, but my calorie count is REALLY high....and I am pretty sure that I don't eat that many calories in a day, so I don't know WHY I am not losing weight! Of course, I don't actually COUNT my calories, so I don't know for sure how many I eat a day. Maybe I should start counting.....

I also found this website which has a lot of information concerning your BMI (Body Mass Index) and how many calories equals a pound and what you need to do (based on caloric intake) to lose weight. THIS is a website that counts calorie's for you (I just found it...and if it is right, then maybe I AM eating all those calories in a day.....). All you have to do is put the name of the food in, it gives you options to make sure you are picking the right food, and BAM!!! Calorie counting the easy way! THIS website is one that I have just discovered. It looks like a great place to learn something.....AND it has a blog!

First Post In About A Year....

Hey everyone....I know it has been a LOOONG time since I posted in this blog, but I am going to start posting here again. I am still going through my horrible battle with my weight. I have actually GAINED weight in the last year. I am SOOO depressed about it. But I am working on getting rid of it. I have actually decided to get serious about it again, which I haven't really been in the last year. I have lost four pounds since I started trying to lose weight again, which doesn't put me even back down to where I was when I started this journal, which (again) depresses the hell out of me. But...what can you do. The weight is already gained, now I just have to work on losing it again. It REALLY sucks, but I am SO tired of being overweight. I am SO tired of being fat, and knowing it, and not doing anything about it. The little green guy up there? That is how I feel....

This lady down here? That is how I WANT to feel! This of course, is how my R sees me, but that's not how I feel, and BELIEVE me when I tell you, that is NOT how I look! LOL! But that is what he sees, and that is what I want to be. I can see it being a LOOOONG HARD road, but I am going to do it. That is my goal and I am doing it for me....not for anyone else. So, I will be updating this blog as things progress.....

Thanks everyone for keeping up with my journey!